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It’s Official: The World Had Finally Lost its Mind Over Michael Jackson July 31, 2009

Filed under: Michael Jackson,Rants and Raves — yourbirdcansing88 @ 11:16 PM
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When Michael Jackson died, like the rest of America and probably the whole world, I grieved.  For maybe the first week or two.  But, unfortunately, the media continues to plague us with the latest news surrounding him and his death.  Enough’s enough already.  He’s dead; he’s not coming back; can we all please shut up about him already?  It’s bad enough all this legal crap over custody and belongings is being so publicized (personally, I think that legal proceeding should really be the sole concerns of those directly involved, regardless of their level of fame), and that most of us seem to neglect the fact that a great deal of the man’s mourners (alas – myself included) didn’t have a kind thing to say about him (except maybe the occasional indulgent comment on his talent) for years before his death.  But two things I just happened to catch on NBC yesterday revealed just how much sanity Jacko’s death has robbed the public of.  Yesterday morning, right after waking up, I turned on The Today Show and saw one of the hosts interviewing a guest who was…Michael Jackson’s personal cook?!  What the fudge, people?!  It astounds me that people would actually care about what the man ate – especially enough to want to know the recipes so they could fix up their own Michael Jackson meals.  I mean, what, do they think – his diet was made up of some kind of pop superstar ambrosia?  That if you eat the same food Jacko ate when he was alive, that you’ll somehow become some monarch of pop or something?  And anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’d really rather not intentionally cook myself a meal favored by someone who died of a heart attack.  I mean, after Elvis died, do you think people clamored over each other for peanut-butter-and-bacon sandwiches?



After getting over my initial horror from The Today Show, I was not relieved of Michael Jackson-fueled stupidity for long.  That night, I turned on NBC again and watched some of the nightly news before The Tonight Show With Conan O’ Brien came on.  One of the news stories involved some fancy-schmancy diamond company which – on top of stripping diamonds of all the wonder and rarity they’re valued for by apparently making diamonds synthetically through some sort of high-tech carbon-pressurizing process – have acquired bits of Mr. Jackson’s hair and are planning on making diamonds out of it.  Once again, what the fudge?!  At the end of the day, hair – no matter whose head it’s been on – is just hair.  Michael Jackson’s hair doesn’t contain any more mystical powers (just more expensive styling products) than mine does – where’s my hair-diamond, huh?  And anyway, don’t these people realize that they’re changing the very structure of Jacko’s hair beyond recognition?  How can we really tell that this diamond is made of his or anyone else’s hair?  No, if some of the King of Pop’s hair is left over from before his death, it should be kept in its natural state where it belongs:  in some Hard Rock Café, somewhere in between an Alice Cooper bustier and a collection of Monkees lunchboxes from the late sixties (note:  I’ve been to many a Hard Rock Café, but I don’t know of any where either of these things exist, let alone both of them, let alone within close proximity of each other.  The point is that these are both objects that could conceivably be found in a HRC, so work with me here.  It’s a hypothetical conjecture).  And if I hear or see one more extraneous news item related to Michael Jackson within the next few months (which undoubtedly I will), I might have to throw something hard and possibly damage-inducing at the TV or radio or whatever other media may administer this information.  I probably won’t, of course, but I’ll have vivid fantasies of it.


Video of the Week: “Bad” by Michael Jackson July 4, 2009

I’m starting this new thing on my blog called “Video of the Week”.  I originally wanted to do a “Top 20 Coolest Music Videos Ever” post, but this idea proved too complicated when I realized:

1.  There are just way too many cool music videos out there to narrow them down to just 20.  And then there’s the ordeal of putting them in order.  Oh, the horror!

2.  New cool videos come out all the time, and every week or so I come across a handful of awesome videos on YouTube or Fuse or whatever that I was never aware of, meaning the list would soon become outdated.

3.  There’s also a question of whether a video qualifies as “cool” just because I find it enjoyable.  One of my favorite videos ever is Mick Jagger and David Bowie’s cover of “Dancing in the Street”, but I hesitate to refer to two badly dressed, middle-aged (albeit talented, iconic, and in most other situations, cool as anything) Brits dancing cheesily around what looks like an abandoned warehouse as “cool”.  Amusing, yes.  Legendary, maybe.  But “cool” just doesn’t seem to be the right word for it.


So I’ve decided instead to feature a post every week on a video that I’ve been digging lately or that has some significance relating to the time of year (i.e., around Christmas, I might feature the video for “Father Christmas” by The Kinks.  That’s a big “might,” so don’t hold me to it.  I don’t want any die-hard Kinks fans complaining that they didn’t get their “Father Christmas” this year when Christmas rolls around). These videos can be brand new, or older than “Bohemian Rhapsody” (and you kids thought that was the first music video, didn’t you?  Clearly you’ve never seen the video for “Subterranean Homesick Blues”), they could be totally cliché music videos that just about everyone and their grandmother has seen (i.e. “Oops, I Did it Again” by Britney Spears.  Though that’s a bad example, because I’m pretty sure I’ll never wind up using that one for “Video of the Week.”  And anyway, I know for a fact that my grandmother has never seen it.  Then again, I doubt she’s ever seen any music videos), or some totally obscure music video that may or may not have a cult following consisting entirely of me and a handful of college friends (i.e. “Tape Song” by The Kills — which I will almost certainly be featuring as “Video of the Week” at some point).


So now, without further ado, I have chosen, as my first ever video of the week, “Bad” by Michael Jackson.  I don’t think I really need to explain the reasoning behind this one.  Well, maybe just a little, for those of you who are wondering why I chose this instead of “Thriller” or “Scream” or “Billie Jean” or whatever your favorite Jacko video may be.  I chose this one because…well…none of the other ones were directed by Martin Scorsese, hmm, were they?  And that, my friends, is enough for me.  Besides, I find that “Scream” made a terrific error in not including color, and let’s just say I might be saving “Thriller” for a more…fitting occasion, if you catch my drift (*cough* the time of year when you dress up like someone else and ask virtual strangers for candy and watch loads of Tim Burton movies *cough*).  Besides, “Bad” has one of the funniest — and quite possibly the most vaguely disturbing — Weird Al parodies ever, with “Fat”.  So enjoy the following videos (hey, it was a real pain in the neck to find “Bad” in full on YouTube, so you’ll just have to deal with it being split into two parts), forgive me for my sudden crankiness (it’s late at night, after all, and I’ve also gone days without watching The Mighty Boosh for the sake of my own sanity and am now suffering from serious Boosh withdrawal), and remember that even though the King of Pop is no longer with us, his influence is immortal.

Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7n8LHOgg0U

Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b34OpbG7Res&feature=related


And if any of you need some comic relief, I’ve also included a link to Weird Al’s parody: